So Close, So Far

Shortly after my last post, my mother moved in with us in preparation for some medical care.  Since she’s essentially an invalid, I spend whatever time I’m not working trying to take care of her, and running her to various doctor appointments means that I shift my work hours and work into the night.  On the one hand, I’m incredibly lucky that my day job is so flexible that I can take the time to get her where she needs to go.  On the other hand, it means that the one thing I’m definitely not doing much of is writing.

My priorities right now are like this: family, job, food, sleep, working on the house remodel, writing.  There’s no way I have it in me to write right now when I have barely enough time and energy to shovel corn chips into my mouth straight from the bag.  This time shall pass, I know.  One of the beautiful things about writing is that it will still be there when I’m ready for it.  The stories aren’t going anywhere.  They’re patient.  They’ve waited this long to be told, they can wait a bit longer until I have the time and energy to spin them well instead of just tying strands together.

That said, I do despair of ever finding it within myself to make the time I know this novel (and subsequent novels) needs.  I so desperately want to write, and while I never expect to support myself solely on writing novels, I would hope to make a little extra cash.  But I have to put the time in to make it work.  The first draft of this book is so close to being done, but I still need to write my synopsis, query letter, etc.

I think that having a bit of extra time to think about the story is good, though.  I think about it on the drive to work.  I really love thinking about it as I drift off to sleep at night, on the nights I’m not asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, and the nights that my son doesn’t wake up complaining as soon as I crawl into bed.  There’s a scene in the story where a contract is made, and I think I’ve found a much better way to seal the deal because I’ve had time to think about it.  What started as a single, albeit important, moment in the first book can now extend through all three and has increased symbolism.  I’m going to try to stay positive and tell myself that the extra time is adding layers of polish to the story that I might not have otherwise imparted.  My hope is that when I can finally get back to it, all the improvements will flow onto the page and make the story the best it can be.

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